Native Fire Star: Vanilla Swirl

Before I tackle this touchy and unpopular subject matter, it is only fair that I disclose the fact that, I myself am a :

"Mixed Blooded" Native American. My father was a VERY PROUD and STRONG Cherokee and Irish mix. My mother is a Hot Blooded Latina : Portuguese. With this mixture of my parents which creates me and my sister, It wasn't my choice and if I could change it, I definitely and most certainly would : IN A HEART BEAT ! Having said that... On with the show :

You know, people say life is not fair at all. As much freedom we enjoy everyday, we are still powerless about who and what we are. Think about this. We are born into a world where we don't get to choose anything about our self. We can't choose our parents, our gender, our height, our place of birth, our skin color or tone or even our race or races...

I hear all kinds of opinions about race mixing and mixed race couples, who eventually produce mixed race babies (like me and my sister). I hear Both good and bad opinions on this touchy, sensitive and sore subject matter. No one wants to discuss this "Openly" these days anymore because everyone is so afraid of offending others and we all are so tied now to being "Politically Correct". No one has the guys to air their own personal opinions because we may be seen or viewed as being a racist or labeled ignorant. However, I have very deep feelings about this matter and being a mixed race person myself, I am more than qualified to speak on this matter. It's "MY" blog and I can say whatever I want, right !

Growing up in a mixed household with 2 very different family sides (mom side and dad side) was an interesting experience and often confusing and very awkward and uncomfortable. Especially with all the various holiday traditions and different family "ways", mindsets and attitudes. As a result, I have never had the luxury of having a clear "Self Identity". For example, whenever I fill out job applications or any kind of paperwork anywhere, there are always race / ethnicity questions. The selections are always (Choose "ONE") ! I can never "Clearly" answer. Also, whenever someone sees that I am "different looking", they always ask me, what am I ? I can never just say I am 1 thing or another because I am a combination of multiple races. Three to be exact (that I know of thus far...). This has prompted me to start a family tree back in 2010. I have thus far traced my family members and roots back to the late 1800's. In the process, I have been learning a lot about myself and where I came from. At least about my family anyway.

With a deep rooted mixed family history on both sides of my family, I have been yearning for just 1 solid racial identity all my life but I know that it will never happen because I can't change my DNA and I can't change who I am. That decision was made for me by my parents. I have a mixed identity, a mixed culture and a mixed image of myself which I have secretly been deeply regretting all of my life ! It was just "Politically Incorrect" to openly voice the fact that I am seriously against race mixing. It creates uncertainty and blurred visions with people. It takes away the ability to simply just know who you are and to have a clear solid pure racial identity and vision of yourself.

Example : If I had 2 Chinese parents, I could just say : I am Chinese, period ! However, If I had 1 Chinese Parent and 1 Mexican or White parent, what would I be called ? Who would I be ? Why blur the color lines ? Why create confusion among people ? Why do that to your children and future generations ? Shall I say : Why mix people up and make people lives much more difficult than what it need to be already ? Don't get me wrong, I am PROUD of my heritage and I like who I am as a person inside. I just wish I had 1 "clear defined identity", 1 way or the other.

If you don't like what I have said or how I feel about standing firmly against the mixing of the races or not dating outside your own race, that's fine. Just remember 2 things. : 1. These are MY Personal feelings here on MY Personal BLOG and I can say whatever I like. 2. You may disagree but at lease I am NOT afraid to exercise my freedom of speech just because of what other people may think. It's MY life and MY opinion. I never wanted to be a mixed race person. But like I already said from the beginning, I never got to choose. The freedom of choice was taken away from me at conception, just like everyone else. CHOOSE your mates SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY. Your future generations - AND - family history REALLY DEPEND ON IT...