Letter To GOD

Dear GOD, 

      I know that you are the creator, the almighty.  The end all, be all.  I know that you have a reason and a purpose for everything in life and beyond.  So, I have a few questions that has been on my mind, and I hope that you wouldn't mind sharing a small piece of your infinite wisdom with me.  

1. Why do we humans all grow old and ultimately expire ?  Why can't we just exist without death ?  

2. If you are known to be a "Forgiving" GOD, why won't you forgive Lucifer and reunite the universe once and for all ?  

3. If your message is 1 of Love, Peace, Forgiveness, non violence and Humanity, Why is there so much HATE, VIOLENCE and KILLING world wide all in your Holy name and in the name of your Holy Bible ?  

4. If The LGBT Community and citizens are all about Love, Peace and Unity, why is there so much HATE Directed towards them ?  

5. Why are there so many different languages on this earth ?  Why can't we all speak the same language and remove the barriers that keep us all separate ?  

6. Why were we humans NOT born with wings so that we could freely fly any NOT need machines to travel and freely move about ?  

7. If we humans we created in YOUR image, why do we all have different colors and sizes ?  

8. Why do we humans Thirst, Tire, Hunger and Hurt ?  

9. If you are a "Forgiving" GOD, why is it believed that we humans will parish in HELL after death for our sins ?  

10. Why do you forbid us to do things and even call them "SINS", yet you give us FREE WILL ?  

11. Why are we NOT given the choice of being born in the gender body that we prefer, since you give us so much FREE WILL ?  

12. Why was I born in a male body, instead of the Beautiful Female body that I know I should have had from the beginning ?  

13. If Pain during birth and Monthly periods were the punishment for Eve and her sin, why do all women of the world have to pay for HER sins as their own.  

14. If you are the Creator and the Almighty and no one or nothing can stand against you, why do you allow evil, war, killing and demons to exist ?  

15. Why do you give us humans urges and desires, yet tell us to resist it ?  Why even allow us to have the things that you forbid ?  

16. If you are our creator and we are all your children, why are we not allowed to speak directly with you ?  

17. Why do we need to PROVE ourselves "Worthy" of being in your kingdom of Heaven when YOU are the 1 who created us to begin with ?  

18. Why do we have to wear clothes to cover our Beautiful naked bodies that you YOURSELF created to begin with ?  

19. If we humans were created in your image, why are we ashamed of our bodies ?  Do you take that as an insult and think we are ashamed of YOU since we look exactly like you ?  

20. If we can change the color of our hair, our nails and make many other changes to our physical bodies and it is viewed as "Acceptable" and NOT sinful, why can't we change the gender of our body and live freely without fear of violence and rejection ?  

21. Why do we have to Worship and go through your son Jesus to get to you ?  

22. WHY are we NOT able to travel through time ?  

23. Why don't you speak directly to us and show us your TRUE face ?      

      I mean NO DISRESPECT to you Lord GOD.  These are just a few of the many other questions that run through my head.  I know that YOU have your reasons for everything.  You have given us instincts, free will, desires and needs.  I just ask for wisdom, answers, guidance and a higher understanding.     

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

Native Fire Star  

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Biblical Issues

      Let me start by saying that I "DO" believe in GOD.  No If's, And's or But's : I just "DO" !  Now that I have gotten THAT out the way...  I have a big problem with The Bible.  Specifically, The Ten Commandments and The Seven Deadly Sins.  First, Lets Start with :  

      1. Saying "NO OTHER" GODS before me, first acknowledges that, there are in fact "OTHERS"...  So, why don't we know more about them ?  Who they are ?  Why are we NOT allowed to follow "THEM" instead, by our own free choice and free will ?  Their names and their purpose and positions in the universe ?  Worship no other GODS...  Means that we don't even know the difference from one or another...  WTF ? 

      2. Does this mean that anyone with a Tattoo will parish in the flames of hell ?  Are tattoo's sinful ?  Body desecration...  It's OUR body so why take away our FREEDOM of choice ?  Therefore, do we NOT have any freedom after all ?  Also, If I were to Marry a woman with a tattoo, will I parish as well (guilt by association) ? 

      3. Oh GOD...!  First of all, NO HUMAN even knows the TRUE NAME OF GOD !  Some think they know but let's face it : "GOD" is a Title, NOT a name !  Like "President" is a Title and "BUSH" is a Proper name.  So when someone says : OH GOD !  That doesn't count because it is a title, NOT A PROPER NAME !  Now, if someone says : Oh "JESUS" or "JESUS CHRIST"... that is a total different story... 

      4. I remember this day...  Most of us just call it "Sunday" !  It is commonly used for Laundry, Housework, getting ready for Monday morning work or school, spending time with relatives and friends and also UNLIKE ME, spend time with someone you love (if you are lucky enough to have such a person in your life)...?  So, to keep this day Holy...?  You be the judge, based on your own life arrangement and congestion.  

      5. Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother !  Really ?  Some of you (My Readers) were blessed with really super cool parents.  YOU ARE VERY LUCKY.  So, YOU ARE EXCLUDED FROM THIS ONE, so skip it and go to # 6...    

      So, what if your parents never honored YOU ?  What if you had / have ROTTEN PARENTS ?  What if you have / had real SUCK ASS Parents ?  Hell..., if you were adopted or abandoned, you may not even know who your parents are !  You know, the people who just dumped you off somewhere like last weeks trash and forgot about your ass.  My point : Why should our parents burden fall on OUR SHOULDERS ?  We didn't even ask to be born in the first place so why honor people who may not even give a shit about you and may also consider you as the 1 mistake that they made and feel much regret because of you or maybe they blame "YOU" for ruining "THEIR" LIFE !  

      Like me, if you choose to be a Good Parent, I applaud you.  However, you have NO CONTROL over who YOUR PARENTS ARE / WERE !  That's their problem, not yours, because they created you, you didn't create them right ?  So, How the hell can you honor someone who don't or didn't honor you or even give 2 shits about you ?  I THINK NOT !  

      6. Thou shall NOT KILL !  Really ?  Let a mother fucker touch your daughter or son and see if you care about killing his ass ?  I don't think so...  Let some bastard come alone and RAPE and BEAT YOUR WIFE OR SISTER OR YOUR MOTHER and see if you think twice about KILLING HIS ASS !  

      Also, if someone puts you in a situation where you are forced to defend yourself or even use deadly force, do you think you would even hesitate about killing someone ?  REALLY ?  I don't think so !  This is REAL LIFE and the world that we live in today has DRASTICALLY changed from the time of the Bible's creation,  That's all I will say on that.  YOU BE THE JUDGE !            

      7. Thou Shalt NOT commit ADULTERY...  OK, I will give you this one.  I agree with this one.  The old saying is : Do unto others as you will have them to DO UNTO "YOU" !  RIGHT ?  Besides, If you don't TRULY Love a person and you DON'T want to spend the REST of your natural life with that 1 person, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED THAT PERSON.  

      Also, If the Love is gone and the Marriage is over, END it properly and FULLY "BEFORE" moving on with the next person.  ONLY be with 1 person at a time.  Nothing else is fair to your partner or yourself..  Anything else is on YOUR ASS !  Ask yourself 1 question : Is it worth it...?  

8. I always say, Why ask who own's something or who does "THAT" belong too ?  You don't NEED to know !  The fact is : If something is "NOT" yours, leave it alone dumb ass !  Don't put your hands on something JUST BECAUSE you don't know who it belongs too.  JUST KNOW THAT IT's NOT YOURS !  That "ALL" you need to know.  So, YES, I "DO" AGREE with this commandment !  No question and enough said...

9. I live by several personal rules in life.  1 of them is : If you gotta lie about something, it's better just to keep your dam mouth shut and NOT say anything at all - or - just say "No Comment".  If you really feel the need to lie about something, just walk away and save your face and credibility...  You know what they say, it takes a bigger lie to cover up the last one you told.  You will just end up looking like 1 big DUMB ASS !  So if you must be false, just SHUT THE FUCK UP or you just might GET FUCKED UP !  I agree with : Bare NO False Witness...  

10. SEE my answer for number 8.  Basically...  SAME THING !   

      In short, While I "DO" believe in GOD, The Creator HIMSELF, I hold very little validity in today's world to a man made book called : 

Coming up on my NEXT Blog entry is : 

The 7 Deadly Sins 

A continuation of this entry (Part 2) 

      

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

Native Fire Star  

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WWW : White World Walmart

       I want to tell you all a story about How RACIST WALMART is and a WHITE WALMART RACIST named "ED" !  Let me tell you a little story about "ME", working for : 

"White World Walmart" !

  
       Years ago...  I used to work at Walmart, briefly.  The store I worked at was located in Hunt Valley, Maryland.  Since that time, That store is NOW relocated to Cockeysville, Maryland, on York Road (Right down the street from where it used to be).  I was a NEW employee at the original store.  I was totally green.  I was young.  I was so proud of my new job and I actually had high hopes for that experience (stupid me, I know).  I was assigned to the Sporting Goods section.  There, I stocked merchandise and served customers.  I met a lot of really nice cool people too.  It was pretty sweet, even for that "ULTRA WHITE" area.

      However... I had a Department manager / supervisor named "ED".  He made it TRULY crystal clear right from the start of DAY 1, that this Racist White Redneck BASTARD definitely did not like me at all.  Apparently, I just didn't "FIT" in and I was NOT welcome there at all...  He made dam sure that I knew it too.  He didn't know me or anything about me, other than the fact that I was NOT WHITE like HE was.  Yet, he proceeded to talk DOWN to me like the "Little Slave Boy".  I was immediately VERY uncomfortable.  Still, I was happy to be there.  I just figured that I was new and needed to prove myself.  So, I thought...  OK, I will take my lumps and eventually warm up to this guy or just change to another area / department.  Sounds pretty simple, right ?  NO WAY...  Back in those days (and still pretty much today as well), in that area (Upper Baltimore County), ULTRA WHITE PEOPLE RULED THE LAND.  If you wasn't WHITE, You wasn't Right...  Get me !

      Well, as all of you (my readers) know...  My first (and ONLY) Love is music.  Well...  One day, I was at work.  I was on the floor and I was told by ED to simply straighten up the shelves, face up everything and make our area look "Pretty".  I was like : Ok cool, no problem.  So, I am doing my job and I had my section looking  "Way Cool".  Being a new employee, I was softly singing to myself, passing the time.  Basically, "Whistling while I worked".  The day was going well, until...  Ed, called me over to talk to him.  I was totally unaware of what was to SHOCKINGLY happen next...  He dropped a bomb on me.  He told me that I should punch out and go home !  I was like huh ?  I just got here.  What's wrong I asked him ?  He said, : See that lady right there (Pointing to a middle aged WHITE Woman).  I said yeah, what about her...?  
      
      He said, I offended her and that I was "Offensive" to our Walmart guests.  I was like huh ?  But, I didn't do anything.  I was just fixing and cleaning the shelves like you asked me too and I was just "Whistling while I worked".  What did I do wrong ?  He just told me that I should punch out and leave the store immediately.  I was really hurt, confused and completely disoriented.  Well, as I walked away, the middle aged WHITE lady looked at me with a very dirty look and giving me a weird and eerie smile.  I should have went to talk with the store manager to fight it.  However, I was young and Naive,  So, I just punched out and walked out the store.  I knew that in those days, you don't fight "The White".  Especially since I was "Out of my element". 

      I called the store to talk to ED the very next day to inquire about my next scheduled day of work.  I was told by ED, My department manager, NOT to report to work and that I was taken off the schedule.  I was "Let Go".  I asked "Why" ?  I was confused and hurt, because I didn't do anything wrong !  When I went to the store to pick up my paycheck that Friday, I was told that I was offensive to customers and that I was BARRED FOR LIFE from "EVER" working for WALMART again.  My heart was racing and my head was spinning so hard, that it took me over a week later to really calm myself down enough to think clearly and realize that I had been a victim of RACISM !  Until this day I still can NOT even apply at any Walmart store (I know, I tried, in 3 different states).  

      I have since contacted that store several times over the years to clear the matter up and I also contacted the main Walmart Corp. to try to get my record clear and to "RIGHT THIS WRONG" to, me.  Over the years I have made several attempts to "CLEAR MY GOOD NAME" !  I have been given 1 cheap excuse after another, Ignored flat and even told that basically "It's too late, I am NOT Welcome back to Walmart" !  

 

WALMART : 

You either get it WHITE or you just don't get it RIGHT ! 

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

Native Fire Star  

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10 Most Foxy Wanted List

Ten things I would REALLY like to have...  

(Not in any Specific Order) !  

1.  

 

 

 

2.  A Large Loft Style Apartment

 

 

3. A SERIOUS Banging Ass drum set.

 

4. A BAD ASS FULLY Equipped RV

 

5. An iMac and a Mac Book Pro with Final Cut.

6. A Professional Filming Camera. 

7. A Woman who ACTUALLY knows how to : 

8.  

9.  A Whole NEW Wardrobe 

10. A Natural Country Life...

   
Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

Native Fire Star  

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Sadness, Forgiveness and Redemption

      
      Oh Dear GOD...  I BEG of you...  PLEASE oh please forgive me for my sins of my past.  How much longer must I suffer in silence.  I am constantly surrounded by undercover demons wearing fake smiles.  I am so tired of being unhappy in my life.  I have tried to stay strong for everyone else around me.  I am now broken.  I just can't stand on my own anymore.  I have honored my parents.  I have stood strong for my kids.  I have fought to obey your Holy Commandments.  I have tried to be a good person and an upstanding citizen.  Yet, I am still plagued by demons and haunted by my past sins and I am continued to be punished for it.  

      When is it going to be MY TIME...?  When will I have my chance to finally be happy in life ?  When will I finally prosper ?  When will a door open for me ?  When will someone just give me a chance in life, with openness and acceptance, NOT harsh judgement and criticism ?  When will someone see me for who I "REALLY" am inside, and NOT this monster that I have been forced to become and to wear this ugly male mask that I am forced to wear in my life.  When will I be free of my bondage and chains ?  

      I find myself constantly surrounded by evil, within negative people who swear they only want the best for me, yet continue to drain my energy, play mind games, dampen my spirit and lead me in the wrong direction in life.  I just wanna be free.  I WANT MY FREEDOM.  I want to experience Peace, Love, Acceptance and Tranquility.  I just want to be : F-R-E-E ! 

      
      Oh dear Lord hear my prayer, with my crying heart in your warm healing and forgiving hands.  I BEG you to heal me.  Free me and show me the way to the right path in life.  Shield be from those who lie and only project harm upon me.  Protect me and enable me to see through peoples fake masks and fake smiles.  Grand me clear vision and sooth my soul.  Please GOD, I simply ask you to : Hear me, Understand me and HEAL ME...  Once and for all ! 

   

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

Native Fire Star  

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My FIRST TRUE Love

      As I sit here at my desk and allow my feelings to flow through my fingers..., I look for things to comfort me.  I think of all the good times in my life and what TRULY makes me happy.  What makes me smile and what REALLY turns me on.  These thoughts, brought me to think about my very first TRUE LOVE...  

      I think of times when the soft rain would hit the window and bounce off the glass, as I sat there and starred out my window, wondering about the big cold world out there as my true love brought me comfort and soothed my spirit.  I remember times when I just laid in a nice HOT STEAMY Bath (that I am so well known for) and my true love would embrace me and hole me close, stimulate my mind as she keep my bones so warm and cozy.  

      I am sitting here imagining how nice it would be to just lay back, relax and allow my true love to take me to places that I have never been while calming my body and making me feel things that I have never felt before...  My true love is the ONLY one who has stood by my side and took the time to actually understand my feeling and listened to my silent cries...

      My TRUE LOVE...  Oh how I love her so...  I am a Passionate Fox with a STRONG Imagination and Spirit.  However...  My true love has the extreme power to move me, change my thoughts and yet smoothly compliment me in a way that no one else can.  My true love is sexy, sleek, flexible, yet constant, firm and long standing.  She has always been here for me and NEVER let me down, NO MATTER WHAT  !  I think about my TRUE LOVE night and day as I walk through my very complicated life and tread waters that no one else can.  She sings to me, she makes me comfortable, she wakes me up and she even gets me through my long days.  My true love will always be with me even when all others turn there backs on me.  I Love her so much and with all my Foxy heart !  My TRUE LOVE, IS...

MUSIC !    

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

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I L_ _ _ Y_ _ !

      

      Well...  It never fails !  When ever someone says that they "L _ _ _" me or claims to "L _ _ _" me, they always end up Lying to me and stabbing me in my back.  It just never fails.  Both Family members as well as so-called friends.  I have never in my entire life had someone really be a real TRUE friend or partner to me without eventually hurting me in some way.  

      In fact, whenever I hear those bone chilling 3 words uttered out of someones mouth, my brain only hears 2 things : LIAR, FUTURE BACK STABBER !  My initial reaction is to just smile and down play it.  However, what I IMMEDIATELY do is start distancing myself from ANYONE who claims to "L _ _ _" me in "ANY" way.  Every EX or soon to be ex, I ever had always claimed to Truly love me (BIG LIE), right before they stick it to me.  I have had family members to also claim to "L _ _ E" me, and every one of them were no exception either.  It now even IRRITATES me just to even hear it.  

      My thing is : If you "REALLY" L _ _ _ me, Don't Sing it, BRING IT !  Don't blow it, SHOW IT !  I would MUCH rather someone actually SHOW that they "L _ _ _" me, rather than just say it (Then eventually lie to me and stab me in my back).  

      At this point in my life, ANYONE who says those words to me will only make me RUN LIKE HELL, because I KNOW what comes next (Back Stabbing and Heart ache).  I have been down this predictable road too many times now.  I already know where that dark alley leads too..  

  

      This is why I shoulder and conceal my feelings.  This is why I am NUMB.  This is why I push people away.  This is why I "NEVER" allow someone to get "TOO CLOSE" to me.  I have had enough heart ache and disappointment for 10 lifetimes now.  I just become more cold and numb with each passing moron, huh, I mean, with each passing day that goes by, sorry...  So the next time you lie to some poor future victim, huh, I mean..., the next time you tell someone that you "L _ _ _" them : Actually mean it and actually SHOW it.  If NOT, do yourself and your unsuspecting VICTIM a HUGE favor and...  

          

Live your Dreams and ALWAYS : Reach for The Stars...  

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